Brokenhearted in Bakersfield

 

85 - THINK THEY’RE READY FOR US?

With Deputy Sheriff Whitey looming over me, I hardly heard Maggie’s sweet voice calling from behind.

“Honeypot, my personal stake in this Chinese fire drill has dropped to zero, but I think Christos Kartone should be informed of these developments.  And I want to be there when he is.”  From behind I felt Maggie pulling on my arm.  “Come on,” she urged, “let’s go for a ride.”  Maggie glanced over her shoulder, “Mr. Chase, I think you’re hired.  And as our attorney, why don’t you join us?”

“Gladly, yet…” his voice held a trace of hesitation, “...there is still the small matter of my restrainer.  Normally I work on a 30% to 80% contingency in cases of this magnitude.  Fortunately, as it so happens, I am in possession of the normal, standard, prerequisite contractual agreement form.”

Mr. Chase reached into his hip pocket and pulled out some crumpled papers, which he handed to Maggie.  She unfolded the creased and stained papers, glanced over them, and then looked back at our lawyer.  “How about this,” she took his pen, wrote something on the bottom of the first page, and handed it back.

“Very well,” he beamed.  “Very well, indeed.  And I might add, quite gregarious of you.”  Mr. Chase started to rub his palms together, “Consider me legalistically reprehensible at your behest.”

While they negotiated lawyerly fees and charges, the three of us inched away from Deputy Whitey.  Slowly we turned, step by step, moving in the direction of Maggie’s parked car.  When Maggie gave my arm a sudden pinch we all broke into a flat out run.

By the time I reached the passenger’s side, Maggie was already in the driver’s seat ready to turn the key.  I was amazed to see Little Billy, bold as brass, already ensconced in the front passenger seat.  Abel Chase dove into the backseat and I reluctantly joined him there.

As we pulled away, Maggie rolled down her window and shouted to Miss Dorothy, “The little boy wants to go for a ride.  Is that okay with you?”

Miss Dorothy waved, “It’s fine with me.  I think it’ll build character, don’t you?”

“I don’t know,” Maggie answered back.  “But I might as well start practicing being maternal.  The little guy’s a good place to start.”  Maggie reached over to ruffle Little Billy’s hair.  He shrunk back and bared his teeth.

Maggie yelled out to the Kachinga lawyer, “Ms. Luckyfeather, don’t get your buckskins in a bunch.  We’ll be back.”

“Now, Mr. Chase,” Maggie looked in the rearview mirror, “I think, as legal counsel, you should be the one to deliver the eviction papers to Kartone.  Just remember, it’s very important to him that everyone acts like he’s in charge.  But stand firm.  I expect there will be some emotional fireworks.”

“Miss Gato,” the attorney calmly responded, “this leads to that old adage about why people like me are paid beaucoup bucks.  You may recuse to me.”

“Perfect,” she purred.

Little Billy clung to the edge of the door window and stared up into the sky, watching things I could not see.

It never ceased to amaze me how quickly the world could change from the friendly confines of our trailer court home to the urban blight that surrounded Broken Heart Park, Inc.  The wide streets was lined with empty brick buildings and abandoned storefront churches.  An occasional lice-infested beggar pushed a shopping cart.  Maggie pulled into a parking space just across the street from the corporate office, but no one attempted to leave the car.  Even Little Billy didn’t fidget in his seat.  We all just stared silently.

Parked in front of the Bakersfield office of the Broken Heart franchise was a huge black limousine.  Several men in black suits and dark sunglasses appeared out of the building.  They was surrounding an old, white-haired geezer.  I recognized him at once.  It was The Cranium from RobbinsYUZ.  The men in black formed a protective ring around The Cranium and escorted him into the waiting limousine.  The limousine glided to a lot at the end of the block.  There sat an unmarked helicopter.

The men in black ushered the elderly gentleman into the waiting chopper.  We watched as it whirled away.  The black limousine slipped around the corner and disappeared.

Maggie said, “Think they’re ready for us?”