Brokenhearted in Bakersfield

 

68 - “X” MARKS THE SPOT

I finally found my way to Maggie’s office after having stopped first at a small bar called The 13th Step, where I had a few beers to celebrate my promotion to my new job status, and then I enjoyed a few celebratory Irish car bombs at the Club Eighty-Six.  It was probably a mistake to conclude my celebrations with a quart of Jägermeister.

“Maggieee.  Maggieee.  I come to shine my peppers fore I take over.”

I made my way past Maggie’s obnoxious secretary and proceeded directly to her office.  Walking in, I noticed she had company.

“Hey, dun I know you from somewhere?” I spoke to the trim, tall and well-dressed man.  “Shit, you kinna look famil…*hic*…famil…*hic*…you know?” *hic*

Then I heard a whimpering sound from a chair and I saw a trussed-up female.

“Hey…*hic*…who’s been getting rough with the…*hic*…lady here?”

“I believe we have concluded our business matters for now,” the man said.  “Thank you, Miss Gato.”  Then I caught him whispering, “Will you keep your maiden name after you marry?”

He didn’t bother to wait for Maggie’s reply.  Instead, he turned to his lady friend and said, “It’s time for us to go.  Hop along now, puss-puss, hop along.”

Hesitating a moment at the door, the man leaned toward me, “And I hope your new wealth and position bring you all the happiness you so richly deserve.”

“Well thanksh a mil…*hic*… and right back at’cha…*hic*,” I spluttered as I reached out to pat his padded shoulder, but he slithered away too quick.

Then it hit me.  “Tha wuz fuckin’ Ol’ Jack Philpot, Maggie, at’s who that wuz. *hic*   Whaz he fuckin’ want with you?” *hic*

“Just a little side business, that’s all,” her moist red lips glistened.  “Honeypot, come on over here and sign these papers, okay?  There’s a lot for you to do out at Broken Heart Park, isn’t there?”

“Oh, yeah, Broken Heart Park.”  I hiccupped some more while I stumbled over toward Maggie’s desk.  I took a couple’a swipes at all the pens she was holding.  Then Maggie put a pen into my hand as she guided it to the paper.

“Honeypot, a simple ‘X’ right here will do just fine.”

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